Living in the Moment

In the last few years, I've accepted that I have bad memory. There are years of my childhood that I can't remember and semesters of college that are a blur. Many times, I relive memories of my own life through the second-hand accounts of my bestfriends and family. My friends will have to repeat themselves two minutes later because I can't remember what they were talking about. Having a bad memory is one of faults that I can't forgive myself for.

But what I've come to realize is that my bad memory is actually my lack of attention.

My excuse is that I'm usually in "my own little world". I'm there, but my mind is wandering. I think about the past, the future, what-ifs, and the what not. Most of the time my thoughts are directionless and can switch from one topic or feeling to another unrelated subject or emotion. Which can leave me feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and most importantly, inattentive to what is going on around me. I think about everything but the present moment.

If I were more aware of my current surroundings, then I could have an emotional connection to the here and now. So I need to relax and focus. Ultimately, living in the present (and not in my own mind) will lead to a more complete me. And hopefully, by being an observer instead of antagonizing unnecessary thoughts, I can store more moments of my life and add to my memory bank.